Marination, sunsets and silence

As I am back at my parents' house, (albeit for a while), I realise that the four years away, on my own, soothed and calmed my nervous system. 

I love the folks, but I do know that they don't have regulated nervous systems, or even regulated emotions. 

Dad is prone to extreme emotional highs and lows and outbursts of yelling (not targeted at someone); in general, his emotions are not regulated or moderate. Mom can come across as someone cool, calm and collected; but I do know her system is in shutdown. Frozen.

So, I am guessing, we all have nervous systems that are in need of regulation, soothing and calming (all is probably a generalisation, most of us is I am guessing)

Coming back to my four years away, that I spent sharing with two other female flatmates: it had me spending time by myself (insert 2 years of COVID here). It however remains the most beautiful period of my life, as I marinated myself in silence. 

The silence of the skies: of sunsets and sunrises. The silence of my balcony in the moonlight and the way jasmine perfumed that silence. Watching the roses bloom and colouring my balcony red, matching the red of the sunrise. Toasting my feet in the winter sun. The silence of the house, as the afternoon-tea-coloured-sunlight spilled itself all over the walls and the floor. The silence of roasting rava in ghee, and wishing I could bottle that aroma. The silence of long hot baths. The silence of watching tea brew, while letting the fingers of cool breeze from the kitchen window, run all over you. The silence of reading books. The silence of watching clouds move-ever-so-slowly, revealing the deep blue of the sky. Watching birds, shot like arrows out a bow, unseen. Watching the full moon, over a city twinkling with lights. 

Thankful, is all that I am. 

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